How would Someone Survive Marriage with an Addict?

We don’t pick our families, but we all choose who to form relationships with, depending on the connection we have with another person. Despite the fact that we all choose our significant others, spouses may require more effort and dedication than any other sort of relationship. This is due to the fact that spouses are intended to be partners for life; people who collaborate to become the best versions of themselves. Of course, there will always be some bumps in the road. One particularly difficult aspect of romantic relationships is the possibility of forming an addiction. Because addiction is a condition that cannot self-correct, it can be immensely damaging to relationships. Addiction can have a variety of effects on love relationships. The effects vary depending on the type of drug and the depth of the addiction. After all, some addictions can go undetected for years, while others arise as the relationship progresses. Here are 9 ways how someone would survive marriage with an addict. 

5 Signs your Partner is Struggling with Drug or Alcohol Addiction

Alcohol and drugs can be consumed by anyone. It is a curse. It can destroy not only the physical health of the consumer but also the mental health of the people around them. The best way to deal with addiction is by admitting your partner to rehab. 

If your partner has consented to go to substance misuse treatment, be prepared for a brief separation while they recover. Depending on the length and severity of the addiction there are the following addiction treatment options: 

  • inpatient or residential treatment – where your spouse will be expected to remain on treatment premises under supervision may be the best course of action.
  • Outpatient- where your partner can stay at home and receive prepper care and treatment from their doctor virtually. The patient is required to visit the clinic and then they can go back to their home. 
  • Telehealth addiction treatment- There is a new form of treatment method that lets anyone from anywhere connect with their doctors just through any video enabling device. More and more people are turning towards Telehealth treatment, keeping in mind the various advantages it provides. 

 It is critical for the addicted person to be in a controlled, monitored setting that removes all the triggers and temptations for relapse during the early stages of recovery. This also lets the non-using partner and/or family focus on their own healing while having the assurance that the using party is being cared for. 

Make sure that you read the signs that your partner is becoming an addict before it is too late. Here are 5 prominent signs your partner or spouse is struggling with addiction.

  1. They like to be isolated and prefer to dissociate with others
  2. They neglect their responsibilities at work and at their home
  3. They use all the money to buy drugs
  4. They neglect their personal hygiene and have a disturbed sleep patterns
  5. Constant depressive and suicidal thoughts

How to Survive Marriage with an Addict?

  • Be Understanding

Understand what they are going through and try to be comforting to them. Make them see that they are not alone and you will be here. But make them realize that this is not the way to live and they should try to leave these bad habits. It may be hard at times to love them but they are also going through a very rough patch in their life and should not be completely ignored. An addict does not understand why people are trying to keep their distance, in their quest to find love, they do reckless things. Do not let your spouse think that they are alone. 

  • Tell them to Start Addiction Treatment at a Rehab

Addiction treatment programs aim to make sure that people addicted to illicit substances go through an easy withdrawal and gain sobriety. Discuss the possibility of a treatment program with your loved one, especially if individual therapies have not been effective in addressing the ailment. This could include psychotherapy, nutrition and rehabilitation advice. If they are reluctant to go to an addiction treatment center you can always avail of Telehealth services. They also let you perform an at-home drug test

  • Try to Keep a Little Distance 

It is critical if you have vulnerable family members, such as young kids, elderly relatives, or pets around. These are the people who get most affected by addiction. They take everything to their heart. Make certain that there are household norms and boundaries in place. If safety becomes an issue, you may need to ask the addicted loved one to temporarily leave the house. Try and keep a safe distance from your addicted spouse. That doesn’t mean you don’t love them. It is because a drunk person is volatile and doesn’t know how to react. 

  • Don’t Fight or Argue Constantly

There is no point in fighting or arguing with a person who is addicted to substance abuse. They do not think clearly. Rather just try and have normal conversations and try to bring up the topic of recovery. Including enlisting the help of friends, family, therapists, or, in severe situations, the police. People who have an addiction are not inherently dangerous. However, if a person is severely inebriated by a substance, it may become hazardous.

  • Restrict Access to Money

No money means no drugs and alcohol. Drugs and alcohol do not come cheap. Try and hide away the money and do not let your partner know that you have excess money lying around the house. Your partner may do anything to obtain money to purchase the substance to which they are hooked. It could be a good idea to remove them from any personal bank accounts and credit cards. As a precaution, you should open a new bank account for yourself.  

  • Take Care of Yourself

Don’t forget to look after yourself while your addicted spouse is busy. Make sure to give yourself proper time to heal and understand the situation. You and your family are going through a terrible period. It is easy to disregard your own health needs when you are stressed. If at all possible, make time for yourself during the day. Exercise regularly, eat healthily and set aside time to unwind. If you are feeling stressed then the whole family will too.

  • Set Some Boundaries

Boundaries are important in any household. Set precise ground rules and expectations. You can even make a list. Provide explicit repercussions if your loved one violates any of these limits. Make them realize that marriage should be a collaboration, and that relationship should extend throughout the addiction treatment process. It can be tough to support someone who has caused you so much suffering, yet the benefits of partnered supportive healing are immeasurable.

Family support is important in the recovery process, and spousal involvement in recovery can help to heal the fractured elements of a relationship.

  • Be Honest with Them

Talk to them and tell them how bad their addiction is and how they are losing you. Don’t hide your feelings from them. Make them see all the sacrifices you make just to spend some time with them. Offer the addict in your life support, counsel, encouragement, and unconditional love. Set deadlines or issue ultimatums. Furthermore, you can enlist the assistance of friends and family to persuade them to get treatment for their drug or alcohol addiction. But you can’t do the task for them no matter how hard you try.

  • Stop Enabling

One of the most typical mistakes people who live with addicts make is enabling. Most addicts’ loved ones are unaware of what they are doing. Enabling an addict implies maintaining your loved one in the cycle of addiction by not allowing them to face the consequences of their actions. It’s easy to mix up enabling and caring. Caretakers, excuse-maker, and fixers are all examples of enablers.

In a Nutshell…

Addicts frequently lie, cheat, steal, miss jobs, and disrupt relationships. Their entire existence revolves around the drugs and alcohol they require for “survival.” Understanding this can help you understand why the addict is the way he or she is. Addicts may also have mental health problems that contribute to their substance misuse. They may use drugs and alcohol to cope with depression or anxiety symptoms. They are frequently ignorant that this is what they are attempting to accomplish. To assist people in being sober, the underlying mental health conditions must be addressed. This does not excuse the addict’s ruination of both of your lives. It doesn’t justify how they treat you and others.

It might help you get rid of some of the blame you’re heaping on them (and yourself). Addiction is a chronic disease that frequently necessitates medical intervention as well as behavioral therapy before it improves. There’s just so much you can do if your partner refuses to cooperate. Living with an addict can be a constant struggle. It has the potential to take over your life. It has the potential to cut you off from friends and family.

Categories: Health

Nicolas Desjardins

Hello everyone, I am the main writer for SIND Canada. I've been writing articles for more than 12 years and I like sharing my knowledge. I'm currently writing for many websites and newspapers. I always keep myself very informed to give you the best information. All my years as a computer scientist made me become an incredible researcher. You can contact me on our forum or by email at [email protected].